Brunei Darussalam is a small, wealthy country on the island of Borneo—about the size of Delaware but wrapped in rainforest, and quietly exporting a ridiculous amount of oil. Fewer than half a million people live here, which makes it feel calm, orderly, and slightly surreal.
On the ride from the airport, my driver summed up the weather as “like Arizona, but humid.” Five minutes of walking later, I realized that wasn’t small talk—it was a heads-up.
Brunei is a Sunni Muslim country, and easily the most strictly observant in Southeast Asia. Sharia law is enforced here, with punishments that range from amputation for theft to the death penalty for drugs or adultery. Alcohol sale is illegal.
The upside? No crime. The downside? Me, trying to find a church on Easter Sunday.
Life in Brunei is safe, comfortable, and tax-free—zero personal income tax, plus free healthcare and education. There aren’t many tourists, which seems to make locals apologize that their country isn’t “exciting enough.”
The markets, though, quietly show off—overflowing with fruits you never see back home. Dragon fruit is just the warm-up act.
The Empire Hotel is one of the most expensive, over-the-top luxury hotels in the world.
I admired it respectfully—from far away—because I did not stay there.
I really enjoyed Brunei. My hotel? Not so much. It will remain unnamed to protect the guilty.
I’m low-maintenance and not here to complain—but travel isn’t always beaches and sunsets. It wasn’t the mystery hair in my room or the pool so green I couldn’t see my feet. It was the aggressive mildew smell and the ultra-loud air conditioning units outside my window that made it hard to think.
Between the noise, the air, and a mild respiratory rebellion, sleep has been elusive. On the bright side, this experience has deepened my appreciation for Thailand.
This guy runs everything here. He’s one of the richest people alive, the world’s longest-reigning monarch, and his birthday is a national holiday.
Pulling in over a million dollars a day, every day, helps explain some of his flexes: He dropped $17 million to have Michael Jackson perform for him and his friends, he also owns the largest car collection in the world with hundreds of custom Rolls-Royces and other exotics, and he lives in the world’s largest residential palace.
Fun fact: “sultan” just means Muslim king.
The Sultan’s home has over 2 million square feet of living space, air-conditioned stables, and a 110-car garage. It is notoriously difficult to get a picture. I tried. I walked all around the perimeter (where I was allowed) and even hired a private long boat to try to catch a glimpse from the water, but the palace is almost totally hidden by mangroves. This is the best shot I could get – credit Wikipedia.
On the same long boat tour, we searched the mangroves for Proboscis monkeys and visited the stilted village.
The stilted village of Kampong Ayer is said to be the “Venice of the East”, but that may be a stretch…
Not everyone lives in luxury.
Some highway signs are hard to understand. Since I didn’t have internet outside the hotel, I couldn’t book a ride and had to walk the highway for about an hour to get back from the market.
This is durian – considered the king of fruit in Southeast Asia. It looks epic and tastes… controversial. Fans love it; critics say it tastes somewhere between stale vomit and a long-dead cat.
The smell is so aggressive it lingers for days, which explains why nearly every hotel bans it like a biological hazard—and why bringing it onto public transportation can earn you a fine.
Oh, and that Easter Service I was looking for? God provided! New churches are illegal here, but older ones—grandfathered in from the early 1900s—are allowed to exist.
This Anglican church was filled with warm, welcoming people. The worship was strong, the sermon focused on the sacrificial love of Jesus, and it was engaging, had a touch of humor, and was in English!
You made it to the end of my long post?
You are rewarded with grilled chicken rectum from the night market!
